Yesterday I finally took to the water to compete in my first heats of the GKA Kitesurf World Cup Mauritius. With mixed emotions on the topic, I decided to meet you here on this page to talk about it. Rather than showering you all with my Debbie-downer rain on my Instagram, I figured why not shower you all with my Debbie-downer rain here!?
All jokes aside, I wanted to shine a light on yesterdays events and be as transparent as possible. Being positive and upbeat on social media is one thing; and as important and inspiring that is, what are we all really doing if we’re not connecting with each other on a deeper level? Social media isn’t always all sunshine and rainbows, nor is competition or the awesome life I’m living. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job! But we all have tough days, hard times and those kicking and screaming moments. So cheers to transparency; here’s the low-down…
This is one of the most highly anticipated events of the year on tour. We’ve even had the most competitors ever at this event; simply because of how prestigious Mauritius is for wave riding. Feeling pretty confident after some sweet sessions leading up to my heat, I was ready to fire up and head out there to kick some ass when my name was called.
Getting drawn against former world #1 plays with your head a bit, and I’m sure professionals all over the globe in surfing, tennis, golf- hell, any sport, would know what I’m talking about. Nevertheless, that’s what competition is about. It’s the best against the rest, and everyone is fighting for that top spot.
Unfortunately, I came out with a loss. 20 minutes of waves, nerves and up-wind battling. However its not losing that sucks. What sucks is knowing you’ve gone out there and not put up your best fight. To put it simply- I’m embarrassed, disappointed, frustrated, angry and heavy hearted at the thought of not being able to show everyone what I can do instead of what I did do. And these emotions all point to one person. Me.
Competition can be glory, fight, passion, challenge, victory, success, and this breathless excitement.
Competition can also be failure, devastation, gut-wrenching disappointment, hot and heavy tears and embarrassment.
Yesterday, I felt the second lot. It sucked. That’s okay. That’s competition.
And if anything-
Competition is just a lesson.
These last few events have taught me a lot. What I’m trying to figure out right now? How to keep calm, keeping my head in the game and focus on doing what I do best- kiting waves. I don’t know how long its going to take, and I don’t know what my ‘method’ to this whole thing is, but I guess that’s what I have to figure out.
Thanks to all my awesome sponsors, family, friends and fellow competitors for the support. Yesterday was tough, but today is a new day. You guys motivate me to do my best and I can’t wait for the day when I can prove myself in competition and to myself. I’ve got lots to learn and I’m excited about pushing myself even harder now. I’m only getting stronger and moving forward, always.
Bring on the doubles and a second chance.
Photo credit: @ydwer / @romantsovaphoto